When we talk of what we can control and what we can change, it is ourselves we have to look at. When we admit powerlessness over others or over a dis-ease whether that is emotional, physical or worldly we gain something. We gain “In-Dependence”. Dependence on ourselves! We grow up! We gain freedom to make changes for ourselves and to make our lives better.
When we grow up we learn that our emotions are not our destination. We learn how to get unstuck because we have ceased to stop and linger too long on the emotion and focus instead on what it tells us about what direction we should be going to give our life the joy and happiness we deserve.
In-dependence means we can look to ourselves for choices about ourselves. It means we can trust that with help from our Higher Power and the tools that we have acquired over time, that serve us well, we will make the right decisions.
We learn to parent ourselves. Parents always want what is best for their children! Whether or not that is the outcome depends on if they have learned to parent themselves. When we parent ourselves we want what is best for ourselves. We begin to gently guide ourselves to what is good for us, not what is hurtful. We take care of ourselves, we have compassion for ourselves, we give ourselves encouragement. Sometimes we must reign ourselves in when necessary, realizing that we are going in the wrong direction and so having the skills we can redirect ourselves. That is in-dependence.
Whether we have had good role models for parents or not, we learn what good parenting is when we parent ourselves. As we start to see that we can parent ourselves and be in-dependent we begin to want what is good for us. A parents job is to guide, to prepare their child for the future, to redirect when a child goes in a direction that is unhealthy or hurtful and to give them the confidence to go forward.
As parents to ourselves we can look out for what is best for us! We can encourage continued growth in ourselves, we can give ourselves wings! That is the freedom of in-dependence!
©Adrienne McLeod 2011